Moment of Weakness
by Nuit Songeur
Summary: Mai is on a downward spiral toward self-destruction. How can she escape? MaixJoey pairing. Warning: Suggestive material.


**A/N:** A simple one-shot for MaixJoey. I honestly do not think there are enough of these. Please take into account- very angsty and it was very emotional to write.

**Disclamier:** It's a moot point. YuGiOh is not mine.

**Warnings:** I rated it Teen because there are teens who can handle this type of stuff and be mature about it. It has mention of very... explicit things. I do not suggest that when in Mai's shoes that you do this. I am NOT promoting that idea. I only write what I thought Mai would do in a certain situation. So, please do not take any offense from what I have here.  
And also- this is post-series. Though, nothing of really spoiler material.

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Lust was a wicked thing.

It could not be defined as love, passion, or beautiful. It was, in fact, a very ugly thing. It caused regrets in many lives and pain to everyone else. Lust is not a feeling or emotion but rather a chemical reaction with the human body's hormones.

It made you feel a fiery desire, because that was all it was- a desire. A desire for human flesh. And this fiery desire consumes your whole being until you are not able to withstand it. And the result of this desire is oftentimes a source of remorse.

Though, that is not always necessarily the case. There have indeed been instances where lust resulted in the care and compassion for another and then cause love.

These cases are rare though.

Most people are insecure within their own feelings to the point where they succumb to these primitive urges in a vain attempt to be accepted. Only, they end up hurt, as usual.

And unfortunately, Mai Valentine was one of these people.

She had struggled throughout her life to be accepted, to be filled with a fleeting happiness. For you see, she was the type of girl to live in a moment. And nothing to her was more tedious that a slow and hesitant build-up.

What she wanted, she had to have then and there. Otherwise, there was always the fear of being a rejected prima donna who nobody loved, who nobody cared about.

These passing moments helped alleviate that fear of loneliness… for a certain amount of time. And when that time was up, she had to have another moment. It was her high, her drug, and she was the overly-obsessive addict.

She wasn't a slut, a whore, or a prostitute. Just because she chased after these moments like the light of the sun didn't mean she did it to provoke a married man to cheat on his wife by sleeping with her. In fact, she did have boundaries. She wouldn't ever live a moment with a man who was already taken, no matter how many times they hit on her at the bars with drunken catcalls while their wife was at home, probably tucking in their children to bed.

And she didn't ask or want any money either. Because that _did_ make her feel like she was indeed a concubine that deserved nothing more than the inferno of Hell's pits.

Which, she already knew, she deserved.

After a while of chasing these moments, they too- like a drug- became meaningless and not enough. And the desire for more only grew achingly.

And then, she decided to do something quite unspeakable by experimenting with those of the same gender. And, for a while, the thrill of this new experience sated her desire. But, as we all know, good things (no matter how sadistically sick they are) have to come to an end.

So then it turned from a simple evening with one person to a wild night of multiple partners.

And even then, when she solicited herself with so many at once, Mai could only feel more alone.

She awoke one morning in a hotel room in between the naked bodies of one man and one woman, both of whose names she had forgotten with the buzz of last night's booze. They were still sleeping, idiotic smiles plastered on their slumbering faces and suddenly Mai felt sick to her stomach.

Quickly and quietly, she got dressed and left the hotel, leaving the room's payment to the two strangers she left behind. She got into her purple mustang convertible and started its engine. The loud roar helped clear her mind of the headache she had from her hangover.

She drove, not bothering to stop and think where she was going and accelerating way beyond the posted speed limit.

She needed an escape, an outlet of what was going on.

She somehow stopped at the park. She let the engine idle for a few minutes, tears starting to creep their way from beneath her lids, until at last she could handle no more of the monotonous engine and cut it off. With the silence that followed, she banged her head against the steering wheel twice before resting it there after a third time.

Who was she kidding? She _was_ a whore and no matter what boundaries she placed up, they would all be dismantled eventually, especially at the rate she was going.

_Just look at me!_ She mentally sobbed. _Wanting to be loved and just ending up all alone no matter who I please…_

The thrill was no longer there, just a feeling of emptiness that, no matter what she did, never seemed to be filled. It seemed hopeless and Mai could only see a chaotic and psychological meltdown resulting from what she was doing.

She needed a serious intervention.

She got out of the car, unable to sit still one place for very long, and walked through the park. The high heels of her purple boots clacked loudly on the paved walkway of the silent park. She loved wearing heels; it made her feel superior, strong. Well, they used to. That feeling of authority had vanished once she ventured down her masochistic path. Now, they were just heels, only signifying that she was able to keep her balance in them, no matter how dangerously high they were.

What had happened to her? It wasn't _that_ long ago that she spent her time dueling. Dueling. She remembered that used to be a thrill that satisfied an adrenaline rush within her. The victorious glory she felt whenever crushing a minor opponent. What had happened to _those_ days? What had caused all _this_?

More tears inevitably slid down her face. In the back of her mind, she could recall that it was Sunday morning. Early Sunday morning from determining the position of the sun. And she was glad because of it; it would be less likely that someone would be at the park to intrude upon her personal thoughts and see her like this.

She resigned to walking silently, heels clacking, and thoughts remaining a numb blur. It was too painful to think of her current predicament. A small, early morning breeze blew, making her thick blond hair swirl around her face and slightly chilling her hot, tear-stained face. It was a peaceful morning.

And then, her reprieve was shattered by a familiar voice.

"Mai?" the voice called out from behind her in surprise. Mai stopped walking and stood, frozen in place. She tried summoning the necessary strength to move her legs and keep walking and to just ignore that God-awful familiar voice.

But, against her better judgment, she decided she couldn't ignore someone who had perceptively been her friend in the distant past. Or maybe, it wasn't so distant after all.

She turned slightly, only exposing half of her face- the side that had the least amount of tears and less redness. Her large mass of hair would mask the rest of her tears.

"Joey?" she said, trying to sound mildly surprised as she saw the blond boy who was now taller than she was. He must have graduated from high school by now.

"What are you doing here, Mai?" he asked, a note of happiness coloring his surprised voice. Of course, he was happy. He was Joey. Joey who didn't know what she had done.

"I live around here, remember?" she said simply. It was true; she rented out an apartment on the other side of town even though she was a tumble-weed, moving from place to place. Never staying at one spot. It was the only place where she even remotely had a permanent residence. And even though she wasn't usually there, she kept paying the rent money- just to have a place to come back to.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't expect to see you… You're never home," he admitted sheepishly.

"I move around a lot," she said, a well-known fact. "What have you been up to?" Joey turned slightly red and turned his gaze toward the ground, scratching the nape of his neck. Mai had long since learned that this was usually a sign that meant a male was either uncomfortable or embarrassed.

"Well, I graduated high school, which you can probably tell. And I'm going to community college with Tristan. Yugi got an acceptance letter to some big-name college and just moved away before the semester started to study archaeology. And Téa went to New York last year to study her dancing. She comes home every now and then for the holidays." He shrugged, blowing the piece of information away as if it wasn't important. "What about you?"

Mai visibly hesitated, wanting to answer but not to tell him the truth.

"I've been… around, as usual. Just doing things here and there." She could see from a brightness in his intuitive eyes that he knew she was hiding something but, to her relief didn't press the matter.

And then, she made the stupid mistake by turning around completely and revealed the tears slowly rolling down her face.

Joey's reaction was… well, Joey's reaction. His eyes widened enormously at the sight of her distressed face and his mouth hung slightly open in a stunned gape. Mai cursed her ability to lose herself when she was with Joseph, she had completely forgotten about that strong bond they had with each other. A bond she wanted to disappear when she joined Dartz because it hurt so much when he wasn't around.

"Mai," he whispered softly, in a broken voice. She turned away from him, not wanting Joey to see her in this state of ultimate weakness.

"I'd better go, Joey," she said to the ground, face reddening. But before she could take a single step, she was suddenly within the warm embrace of Joey's arms as he hugged her tightly. Taken on by surprise, she acted upon impulse and gripped him tightly as well and began to cry even more fiercely.

"Did… did someone hurt you, Mai?" he asked, voice muffled by the thick waves of her hair. When she replied, her voice was muffled as well from burying her face into his chest.

"No, Joey. I did this to myself. I'm such an idiot!" They held each other like this for several minutes, as Mai released her hurt and guilt onto Joey, hoping with a small hope that he would help bear some of it so it wouldn't be completely unbearable to her.

"Joey?" she said tentatively after a while.

"Hmm?" he said.

"I've missed you."

"And I've missed you too." She suppressed a surprised gasp. Joey missed her? Maybe she was loved after all.

"Thank you," she whispered silently, the desire and lust disappearing for the first time since she felt it.

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And there you go. I hope you enjoyed it.

Please review!

And go look at my other stories. I promise that they're not as angsty or explicit as this one!

Nuit Songeur, out!


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